Oh man...

It's always a tough one trying to figure out what my first post is going to be. After much thinking (and procrastinating), I wanted to start this off with why I'm here. 

In October 2016, I was diagnosed with Depression. I had been feeling off for a couple months before that. I had originally thought that I was pregnant or maybe there was an issue with my birth control. It felt like my hormones were all out of whack and I just wasn't myself. It spiralled down from there. 

I was a young mum (had my son at the age of 19) and was doing it all by myself. Between balancing raising a child, working full-time AND going to school part-time you'd think I would have cracked back then. I had been in a few toxic relationships and experienced traumas in my childhood. I never really talked to anyone or felt like I could talk. It stayed bottled up for 12 years until it just overflowed. It was a torrential downpour of just shit. I suffered PTSD from the traumatic experiences and my mind was all out of whack. 

I literally hibernated in my room. There were days when I wouldn't move ALL day. I was just so lost. This went on for a couple months until I realized I needed therapy. I found an amazing counsellor and from then on I decided I needed to stop this. Now anyone with depression knows that you can't just tell it to stop and go away. It doesn't work like that. So I took baby steps. I did my research on things that I could do to get my life back. That's when I came across the practices of holistic health and considering the mind, body and spirit. I started off by meditating. From there I eased myself into yoga - which I am still a major beginner at. 

I focused on the things in my life that made me happy - my son and my partner. They have been my rocks through this entire experience and I would not have made it without them. I was suddenly starting to do more and more things for myself. Stuff that got me out of bed. I started coloring, reading and painting. All very therapeutic stuff. Next, I was onto music. Holy shit, I can't even begin to tell you enough how much music has an effect on your soul. At the beginning of every morning, I put on my Spotify playlist and I let it rush into me. 

This is when I found Naturallie. I was sitting on the couch in my living room, creeping all the other wellness yogi's that I follow on Instagram. And then it hit me. I'm not going to let this illness define me. I'm better than that. I started to notice just how many people are affected by Depression and I couldn't help but think how much I want to be an influence - a sign that it will get better. I believe that the impact we have on each other is so great that if I can be everything positive, it might just make a difference in someone's life. I care and feel deeply. I know what it's like to feel like your alone. I'm here to change that. Because I survived.